


Because She Fell Asleep

by Okay_and_Forever



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: Davina is still in highschool and only 15, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, I wrote these tags at 3 am, Inspired by Romeo and Juliet, Inspired by The Vampire Diaries, Landon Kirby is the son of Romeo Montague and Morgana le Fay, Landon is in no way related to Romeo or Morgana, Love Letters, Protective Rebekah Mikaelson, Romeo and Juliet References, Suicide, What Was I Thinking?, Witchcraft, it ends up making sense eventually I promise, just don't question it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-08-29 17:44:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16748692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Okay_and_Forever/pseuds/Okay_and_Forever
Summary: "This is the way the world ends; not with a bang, but a whimper." - T.S. EliotIf three weeks ago someone had told me that I would be friends with Lizzie Saltzman, I wouldn't have listened. But now that Josie's gone, Josie left us, Lizzie is the only reminder I have of her. Lizzie is my only hope of figuring out why Josie would kill herself, at least that's what I thought. . .(This is really dark and talks a lot about suicide and depression. Please do not read this if you are likely to be triggered by these topics.)





	1. Oblivion

**Author's Note:**

> I promise to continue this story when I can. I started writing this story around the same time I went off one of my medications. My mind got a bit confused because I had to adjust to life without my medicine. Because of this, I was manic for a few months. This story is one of many projects that I thought I could handle, but now that I'm stable again, I'm just really overwhelmed by all of my unfinished stories, songs, drawings, and the extra school work I decided to sign up for so I can graduate high-school and get my associates degree at the same time.   
> I'm really sorry for starting a story that, for now, I am not capable of completing.
> 
> -Jordan (hosiexsaltzson)

She went to sleep two weeks ago. That’s what I’ve been telling myself. That’s what I need to believe. Even though I’ve seen similar situations enough times to know the truth isn’t so simple. This circumstance never is, it never will be. We never saw her pain, her tears, or the way her laughter went flat. We never knew, but even if we had, this would’ve been out of our control.

 

I keep trying to comfort Lizzie, of course I want to help, but I know better than anyone that for Lizzie to start coping, she needs to let herself hurt. If she keeps trying to push away her pain – through violence, through anger, through blame – then she will never truly know what it is she needs to confront. I know. I know exactly who she needs to confront, but she’ll need to figure that out on her own.

 

I haven’t let myself confront her either. Denial has never been my strongsuit, but I never let anyone know how I felt, how I will always feel, about Josie Saltzman. Josie was the only one who knew that I love her more than anything. The past three months with her were magical, both literally and figuratively. But two weeks ago, Josie went to sleep. . . And this time, she won’t wake up.

 

Her stone is simple, her name, birthday, the day she fell asleep. Something surprised me, scared me, on the day before the funeral. Everyone knows we were close, but I think this confused everybody. I was almost angry when Lizzie walked into my room that day. I had been sketching Jo, the last happy memory I have of her. I finally was able to get the lips the proper shade of pink. Even though I hadn’t stopped crying since I watched her fade away, the memory brought a small smile to me.

 

It was a smile that faded the moment Lizzie rushed in. She kept begging me for help, saying that Josie wanted a different quote for her stone and nobody else would understand. The frantic behavior of the lonely Gemini reminded me of myself in the weeks after my parents died. I tried calming her down a few times, but she just swatted me away and started digging in her pockets. Several agonizing moments of confused staring later, Lizzie handed me a pouch of sealed letters; each one of them addressed to me, more or less.

 

Lizzie managed to mumble something about how Josie’s note mentioned the letters and only I’m allowed to read them. I’ve never been good at voicing how I feel, so I settle with giving Lizzie a squeeze on her shoulder and nodding my head, both in understanding and get the hell out. Lizzie understood that too. She may not like me that much, not then at least, but it was becoming undeniable how much I will always love Josie Saltzman. Then, I was alone, and I had a lot of letters to read; starting with the one labeled, _“You Poked Yourself.”_

 

_Hey Little Wolf,_

_I know it’s been forever since I called you that, and last time I did you yelled at me because it's what your dad called your mom, but there was something about the way you fought today that just idk. . . You seemed like my little wolf. Even though you’re bigger than me. Well, you’re older, but I think I might be a bit taller._

_I have so many things to tell you, but I’m scared. I’m not scared of your reaction or anything, but there are so many other reasons. I’ll tell you the most important one after I tell you this cause if I wait much longer I’ll lose my courage. Here it goes. . ._

_Earlier today, before the whole Lizzie almost being dead thing happened, it was nice talking to you. It was like we cleared the air on so many things. You opened up to me and I know that you don’t really talk to people like that. Truth is, I don’t either._

_I talk to Liz, and she’s my best friend, but I don’t think I’ve ever had a best friend outside of her. I know I talk to MG and, more recently, Rafael, but something felt different with you. Something felt safer. I want to know you more._

_That’s why I’m scared to tell you. I want to have moments with you that don’t vanish and go forgotten. When we talk, I don’t want the conversations to fade into oblivion. I want to be known by you. Forgive me if this gets to personal, I know it's really a Mikaelson thing, but I want us to be by each other's side - like with that stupid gargoyle - always and forever._

 

I broke down again after I finished reading. My head was feeling wrong, it's hard to explain, but I didn't feel right. I'm not an idiot. If she was really that lonely, I would've seen it, I would've helped her. She said she felt safer with me. That she wanted me to know her, always and forever. Always and forever. . .

 

I let myself scream at that, releasing magic throughout my room as I did, letting it destroy almost everything. Those words are cursed. Everyone who has said them to me is gone. 

 

"Really, Josie? Always and forever!" My eyes flashed yellow as tears escaped down my face. "Why did you lie to me? Why - Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you stay?"

 

I let my body collapse beside the portrait I drew earlier that day. The picture was beautiful, but a lie. The smile was fake, even then. Josie felt alone that day, looking up at me from the ground after pulling the trash pole from my foot.  _You poked yourself._ Her smile was genuine, that much was true. And she felt safe with me. Safe enough that she told me almost everything. . . almost. 

 

"Why didn't you send these letters, Jo? I could've helped."

 

I heard a whispered response to my tears, maybe it was magic, or maybe I had finally lost my mind, but it helped.

 

" _You did help me, Hope. Because of you, I know that I will never be forgotten. That no matter how angry Lizzie was, or how busy mom and dad got, or how badly she hurt me, you were there for me. I love you, Hope Mikaelson."_

 

Her voice sounded so real, like if I just opened my eyes, she'd be standing with me. But Josie Saltzman went to sleep two weeks ago. The day after she told me she loved me. 

 

So the quote on her grave - because as much as I don't want to admit it, she isn't asleep, she's dead - reads, " _Because we have loved you, you will never be taken into oblivion. We are here, always and forever."_

 


	2. Romeo's Dagger, Landon's Knife, both of them killed the love of my life. . .

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning; this chapter is specifically vague, but the ending reveals how Josie died. (I almost cried writing this.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suicide Hotline 
> 
> 1-800-273-8255

I think the way she killed herself is what really has everybody in such a struggle to move on. It’s no secret that everybody at the Salvatore School is no stranger to death, or grief, but no amount of experience with pain could’ve prepared us for this. The nightmares are keeping me awake, I see Josie’s body in my sleep, I watch the light of her soul leave her eyes. Aunt Rebekah was called to the school about four days after everything happened. She stays with me at night and helps me relax when the memories flood my dreams.

 

She’s helping Lizzie too. Of course, Lizzie wants to feel as close to her sister as possible right now, and obviously I want to feel the same, so we have this sort of agreement. Whatever anger we had been holding is now forgotten. Me and Lizzie sleep in Josie’s bed, we talk about our memories, we laugh at the good times, and we cry when it’s too painful to do anything else. Aunt Rebekah is always there for both of us; whether she’s making sure we remember to eat, or holding us back when we lose control. She’s there.

 

Alaric isn’t here though. I’m not sure when he left, or where he went, but he’s gone. Maybe the stress of seeing her friends, and the place where she died, everyday was beginning to be more than he could handle. He blames himself. It’s weird cause I blame myself and Lizzie blames herself, even Penelope thinks this is her own fault. I have brief moments of either clarity or insanity where I think to myself that nobody is blaming the one who’s really at fault here.

 

Landon Kirby. . . He’s the one to blame.

 

Rebekah tried to tell me blaming him for everything that goes wrong isn’t healthy, but I explained why he might as well have driven that dagger through Josie himself, now my aunt is just as furious as I am. Which means that she’s told Freya, and Davina, and that means Kol knows too. I don’t think Landon has much longer to run with all of us ready to strike him down.

 

 

**_ Two Months Ago _ **

**__ **

I know that asking Alaric about doing a school play was probably a little bit out of character for me, but he almost immediately agreed to the idea; practically praised me for thinking about it. So, I’m not at all surprised when he calls the students together for suggestions. I am, however, surprised that me and Josie are the only two who seem even remotely interested; Landon tries suggesting King Arthur, but his opinion doesn’t matter on account of him not even going to this school.

Of course, Josie would be the one to suggest something as fluffy and romantic as Grease. Who the hell would want to watch that anyways? So obviously I ask for McBeth or Hamlet. Or anything by Shakespeare. Something dark and twisted. . . Okay, so my first suggestion was actually Flowers In The Attic, but I quickly played it off as a joke when people started making Mikaelson incest jokes. They weren’t even funny, just insensitive enough to piss me off when they brought my mom into things. . .   _Assholes. . ._

“Alright,” Alaric says with a clap of his hands, which finally gets everyone’s attention. “Hope, Josie; since you two seem like the only ones with any actually interest in a school play and have completely opposite ideas, come meet me in my office. The rest of you are dismissed; get to class!”

 

“We are _not_ doing some creepy Shakespearian drama where everyone dies.” Josie whispers to me with a slight laugh. We’ve grown accustom to poking each other, it’s our way of being friends without Lizzie noticing that things are changing between us.

 

“Well, we aren’t doing some unrealistic musical from the 1980’s, where everyone sings about how great of a paint job their crappy car has, and then dresses like Catwoman in a lame attempt to get the douche-bag guy at a carnival that’s way too elaborate for any real highschool to have made.” I start off just wanting to tease her, but it ends up in a mini rant because I really don’t like Grease. “And don’t even get me started on how they all seem to have an almost inhuman ability to perform carefully planned musical numbers at the drop of a hat.”

 

“Wow,” Josie literally pokes me in the side and of course I jump cause, let’s face it, everyone jumps at that. Josie’s laughter fills up the air outside of her dad’s office when she stops to make one more jab at me. . . Figuratively this time. “The all-powerful, Mikaelson Trybrid; but Grease The Musical can send you into an angry rant? You really are full of surprises.”

 

“Shut up.” I try to look annoyed but end up laughing as I open the door for her. “After you, Joey.”

 

We walk into Alaric’s office, laughing and joking at how, somehow, within the two seconds it took for Josie to walk through the door, I had already managed to change her name from Josie, to Joey, to baby kangaroo. The funniest part, in my opinion, is that she’s the one who mentioned that a Joey is the same thing as a kangaroo; I had to correct her because a joey is actually a baby kangaroo. . . She brought the new nickname on herself.

“When did you two start getting along?” He sounds happily caught off guard by our friendship. “I did some thinking and I have an idea for the play if you girls are okay with it.”

 

“Want to tell us what you’re thinking or are we supposed to blindly trust that you won’t make us do something insane?” I’ve known Alaric Saltzman for a long time and more often than not, his plans aren’t exactly typical.

 

“Well,” he looks between me and the baby kangaroo as if he’s trying to judge how comfortable we are with each other, “You want a love story, you want a tragedy, and it’s obvious you both want the lead.”

 

“No way,” I somehow know exactly where he’s going with this and it is so confusing to me why he would ask anyone to do this, let alone his own kid. “Do you have any idea the kind of bullying we would have to put up with? I’m already a Mikaelson!”

 

“What are you talking about?” Josie doesn’t know what he’s thinking, which would be funny if I wasn’t so adamantly opposed to this.

 

I give Alaric a glare that could probably set somebody on fire before finally calming down after having a moment to think. I see him visibly calm down too when I nod for him to share the idea that I still don’t know how I managed to pick up on.

 

“Could you girls rework Romeo and Juliet so that. . . I cannot believe I’m saying this. . . the reason they can’t be together is-,” He can’t even get the words out and he expects us to be the leads in front of the whole school?

 

“You want me and Hope to be Romeo and Juliet, but gay?” Josie laughs when he nods. “No offense Hope, but even if I was comfortable with this, Lizzie would never shut up about it.”

 

“Well, no offense Joey,” I know I said no to this before the idea was even spoken, but I can’t help feeling a little upset that Josie doesn’t want to do the play. Like it’s her saying that the thought of us as more than friends is just nonexistent. “But falling in love with a baby kangaroo just isn’t my style.”

 

I’m overthinking this. She almost definitely just doesn’t want to be embarrassed because of the play, it isn’t about her feelings for me, is it? Or maybe it is. I know I have a crush on her, but there’s no way she could possibly like me too.

 

Well, here’s to another night of staring at the ceiling and overthinking everything. . .

 

 

**_ Present Times _ **

**__ **

I guess we shouldn’t have changed our minds, maybe if we hadn’t gone through with the play, she would still be alive. Or at least her death wouldn’t have been so public. The thought of it wakes me from my nightmare and I let my screams fill up the previously silent school. Lizzie is sitting up beside me, trying to hold me down so I don’t destroy half the school. . . again. I can feel her tears on my shoulder. And I can hear Rebekah shuffling on the other side of the room; probably grabbing cups of tea to help us calm down again.

 

It’s times like right now, - Waking up in the middle of the night with the knowledge that although I’m not the only one who’s grieving, I’m the only one who’s lost control. – that I feel the urge to go into the closed auditorium and stab myself with Landon’s dagger, in the spot where Josie did the same, in front of the entire school, in front of their families. . . In the same spot where she left us hopeless on closing night, when no amount of vampire blood could heal the wound she had made.

 

But I’m a trybrid. Even if the knife killed me, I would just wake up again, and it wouldn’t be able to kill me again. Nothing would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you like this story so far? Why do you think Josie did it? 
> 
> I wrote this mostly before episode 5, but once I watched it, I kind of like Landon now. But I have so many theories about the knife and one of them is that it's actually Romeo's dagger. I'll just list my theories about the knife here actually cause I want to know what y'all think, some of them are less theories and more of just something I think would be cool.
> 
> 1: Landon is a descendant of King Arthur or Merlin and the knife is Excalibur.
> 
> 2: Like I said. . . Romeo's dagger. (This is one of the one's that I just think would be cool.)
> 
> 3: Kind of like Thor's hammer, but also not. . . I think that Landon has a special connection to the knife, like it was made for him, and anyone else who tries to use it will probably end up with something bad happening to them. (Like when Hope and Rafael used it against the dragon, but they were protecting Landon so nothing horrible happened to them. I don't know how to fully explain this one oof)
> 
> 4: In episode 5 we hear about a place called Malivor. Then this symbol with connections to the place is shown on a necklace in a picture of Landon's mom. So, I did some research and after about an hour of frustration at the seemingly made up word, Google Translate says that "Malivor" means Mischief. And we all know that Landon causes a lot of mischief, so what if that's how the knife works? By stirring up mischief. . .


	3. "Often have I heard that grief softens the mind; Makes it fearful and degenerate. So, think therefore on revenge, and cease to weep." - William Shakespeare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think the title is a fair enough summary. . .

**_ Two Months Ago _ **

**__ **

“Come on, Hope!” Josie is practically jumping on my bed from the spell I did to make sure she wouldn’t fall asleep tonight. I only halfway regret it though; she’s adorable. “I want to hear one of your poems.”

“I already told you no, baby kangaroo.” She still hates the nickname, but I love it.

Her entire aura just shifted into something darker. It lasted less than a couple of seconds, but I know what I saw. I’m about to just ignore it, but I can hear the darkness linger in her voice, almost like she knows something I’ve yet to figure out.

“Do you even realize why you call me that?” Josie suddenly seems really tired, my spells probably wearing off. “I don’t get it.”

“What do you mean?” I try to keep smiling, but the more I think about it, the more I pick up on what she’s trying to say. So, I look down and stay quiet so she can talk.

 “You know what I mean, Hope.” The room goes silent for a few moments before she gives up on getting me to talk about it, that doesn’t mean she drops it though. She sighs gently enough that, even with my trybrid hearing, I almost miss it. “He used to call her Little Wolf, and you were his littlest wolf. You’ve told me that about a million times. It means a lot to you.

“You look like him, your dad. Whenever my dad would talk about all the bad stuff he did, my mom made sure to tell me and Lizzie about the Klaus Mikaelson she knew. It was our little secret to keep from Alaric. But I’ve never heard any of your stories, and you never talk about your mom, except that she was his little wolf, and you were his littlest wolf. When you call me your baby kangaroo, yeah it started as a joke cause of my name, but now it reminds you of your parents. It reminds you of your family. I just wish you would tell me the truth, Hope. Even a fraction of how you’re feeling, instead of just pretending and talking in riddles and pokes.”

“Okay,” I almost stand up to get my poems and sketches, but I just summon the two I need instead. I show her the sketch first. “This is my dad, aunt Rebekah, uncle Elijah, Marcel, and Davina. They had a picture like this taken in New Orleans, the year I was born. They didn’t always get along, but they were a family, they still are. Marcel and Davina aren’t technically Mikaelsons, they’re my family just the same though. This family lives with a promise to each other; Always and forever. That promise won’t just disappear cause of death.”

I force myself to put the picture to the side and focus on my writing. I’ve never read my poems to anyone, and I sure as hell haven’t let anyone else read them. Josie’s different than other people. She’s kind, and gentle, and she wants me to trust her because I know she trusts me. So, I clear my throat, exhale, and read.

“A promise is a promise, no matter how it seems;

Once clarity awakens and punishes my deeds.

Action follows action and cloaks all I perceive;

I know that pain must follow, cause I must take the lead.

Always still means always, so we should make amends;

Before I fall and stumble forth towards a broken end.

Fractures turn to shatters, which people break again;

My enemies have enemies, still I’d hate to risk a friend.

A promise is an action that remains when we are dust;

So, let my grief undo my mind because the sky has lost my sun.”

 

 

**_ Present Day _ **

**__ **

She’s gone, and I know it. She’s gone. Josie Saltzman is not coming back, she will never come back to me, to us. It’s been four weeks now. In two hours, 39 minutes, and 18, 17, 16, 15 seconds, one month will have gone by without her. A whole freaking month and I’ve done nothing but lay in her bed and cry.

I let myself grieve for one month, but now it’s time to do something. Landon Kirby is the reason for everything that’s happening right now; whether he’s aware of it or not. The moment he laid hands on that knife, everything went to shit. He took the knife, and everything started changing. Now, Alaric’s gone, Josie’s dead, Lizzie has lost the ability to function properly, mythical creatures and demons are showing up left and right, and me; I am grieving, pissed off, and hellbent on revenge.

I tried telling Rebekah about my plans for Landon, but all she wanted to tell me was that I shouldn’t be trying to put a time limit on my grief. Well, if I learned anything from my parents’ death, its that grieving only fuels whatever rage I’m feeling. I hadn’t been talking to Lizzie, but I knew she was listening. Even she tried to convince me not to go through with my plans. So, I gathered my stuff and ran out of the twins’ room.

Right now, I’m sprinting, as fast as I can. I don’t know what I’m running to, but it feels good to leave her room. It feels good to go so far, so fast, that my lungs are burning even with my powers. They want me to deal with my anger, that’s what I’m do-

“Sorry, I didn’t see you.” I stand up just as quickly as I fell down, wanting to spend as little time with people as possible, but whoever I just literally ran into has other plans.

“Hi,” she stops me from walking away, which just annoys me. “You’re Hope, right?” I nod and try to walk away again, but she stops me, again. She’s persistent, that much is obvious. “I’m Davina Claire. Can we talk?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so I think it would be a bit awkward to write out everyone's ages within the actual story, but I definitely changed a few of their ages to make the story flow better. Here's a list.
> 
> Davina: 15 years old  
> Hope: 16 years old  
> Josie & Lizzie: 16 years old  
> Penelope: 18 years old  
> Landon: unknown, but around 16-17 years old
> 
> That being said. . .  
> What do you think Davina wants to talk about? Do you like the flashback style? How many of you caught my slip-up? (I already mentioned Davina, briefly, but Hope isn't supposed to know her yet so, try to just ignore that until I have an opportunity to edit it out.)


End file.
